Todai stories

These days, everything is new.

I wish you could see me actually enjoying campus life. Enjoying being a student (still). Walking the streets, going to the library, buying a book, having tea with a friend, somehow getting into the juggling club. Simply not feeling guilty for being here, feeling that I don't deserve to be here, that I don't belong here.

You know, when she told me, I wasn't sure if I wanted you as my student but I took the chance. Still I'm not sure if you are going to make it here. Even if I put all my effort, I can't trust that you make it here. Can you imagine how did she make me feel? Did I need all that pressure over me?

I don't think so. I don't feel so. It didn't work for me. I almost quit the masters, just for the pressure.

I said it once before, I will say it again. That aggressive terrorist kind of guidance –if you can call that "guidance"– works in the same way as abusive child care. Academic harassment, if you allow me.

And then at the end (you are not going to believe this), she gives me a hug, with tears in her eyes.

Crazy, isn't it? I was so confused that I had to tell everyone around what just happened. Did I made a mistake here? Am I being the bad one?

When the most learned of my friends heard the story, she just said, I am glad that you changed. She is just like one of those lout boyfriends that once you break up with them, they start to be nice.

Comments

Anonymous said…
You joined the juggling club? That's nice! I believe she didn't mean to kick you out but I agree that she was too much too harsh to you... And I was worried because you don't wanna spend 2 years being scared of her. Anyways, I'm glad that you're enjoying your life and I'm sad to miss that!

Noz

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